have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
