I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
