Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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