You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Send help, water and tortillas.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
