I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
