maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Someone signed my nipple.
tell me about the eggs
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