well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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