PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
