I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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