So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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