This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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