So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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