Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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