Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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