I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize