So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
