You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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