I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
