I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I love you.
Bad choice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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