I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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