what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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