Kareoke will never be a sober sport
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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