Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
