im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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