Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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