I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
