So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
