Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
