did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
