I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
