i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize