I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
