Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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