Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
