I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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