i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
