I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
