Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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