so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
