I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
