I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
