hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
