Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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