So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
pray to the hookup gods
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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