She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
