i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
