You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
