Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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