lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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