Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
