left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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