Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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