i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
