just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
