Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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