if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You ruined the universe
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
