yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
