Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
