I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
