I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
