I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
