i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
