I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
