Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
