i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my poor anus
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
